Where you lead, I will follow
Gilmore Girls itinerary, my latest DIY, FRIENDS vs. Coupling, Strega Nona 🍝
It’s a long one! Click the link at the bottom to see anything that gets cut off by your email provider. Enjoy!
Today’s issue:
☕️ An actually *realistic* Gilmore Girls Fall Itinerary
🎨 Arts & Crafts corner!!!!! I made a nostalgic tufted rug!
🍝 Strega Nona September
💜 I’ll Be There For You: FRIENDS vs. Coupling friend archetypes
📲 The evolution of background music, Connecticut mentioned in Chloë Sevigny interview, Paris and Lindsay to perhaps work it out on the remix, Celine Dion in ASL, Lenny Kravitz is the King of Autumn
ICYMI, last week’s issue included your Ferreira Fall style guide, Grand Theft Autumn essential tracks, the Unlock Your Aesthetic launch party, and more. Seems like everyone’s favorite part was my Summer Bucket List!!! 🥰 As it turns out, Rainforest Cafe IS popping up at the Empire State Building, but for $75? Ummmm I’m all set.
Support Nicstalgia with a paid subscription for less than two coffees and a stack of blueberry pancakes from Luke’s Diner.
Huge thank you to Nicstalgia supporters who I will love forever: Janine, Marie, Liv, Mitra, CY, and Aleena! 💐💐💐
☕️ *Realistic* Gilmore Girls Fall Itinerary
This “Gilmore Girls trip to Connecticut” video beautifully captures Connecticut – undoubtedly the best place to spend autumn – but the itinerary is unrealistically spread out and consists primarily of sparsely populated farm towns. Not exactly a vacation. If you want to get the warm, cozy, Connecticut, Gilmore Girls feeling this fall, here’s the real inside scoop from a CT native.¹
Where to start
There are many lovely small towns with beautiful foliage that have precious coffee shops, boutiques, antique stores, etc., but they become quite secluded as you move away from major highways. In the more densely populated Fairfield County, aka. “The Gold Coast of Connecticut”, Greenwich, Darien, New Canaan, and Westport have cute, walkable downtown areas. In Hartford County capitol area, you have West Hartford, Glastonbury, and Old Wethersfield. New Haven is where Yale is, somewhat of an anomaly in an otherwise bustling city environment. There are many cool vintage stores, coffee shops, plant stores, cocktail bars, an art museum, a live music venue, etc., but it’s not idyllic lol. Wouldn’t make the trip for Yale alone. (Also it’s weird to visit a college campus where you have no connection or academic interest, no?)
The main attraction here, as far as Gilmore Girls fans are concerned, is Litchfield County. It’s home to the main towns that served as Stars Hollow’s inspiration: Washington Depot, New Milford, and New Preston. Everything is quaint, charming, and has a colonial farmhouse/Americana aesthetic. I’ve never been to Washington Depot or New Preston and don’t know anyone who has, but I have been to New Milford! Went a couple of months ago and saw the gazebo on the town green!
Fictional Stars Hollow business → IRL New Milford small business guide:
• Stars Hollow Books → HB Books
• Doose’s Market → The Natural Market
• Kim’s Antiques → The Hunt
• Black-White-Read → Bank St. Theater
• Luke’s Diner → Theo’s
• SH Beauty → Skin and Tonic
• Weston’s Diner → Riber and Rail
• The Dragonfly Inn → Homestead Inn
My New Milford recommendations:
• Grassroots Ice Cream (I had a lime chip flavor and think about it all the time)
• Play Toys & Gifts for tchotchkes and kitschy gifts, described by a customer as, “like walking thru the internet” lmao (I got my ice cube and cherry earrings here!)
• Honeybee Books for used books, arts supplies, and gifts
• The Hunt for well-organized vintage and antiques
• The Safari Collective and Ameico for artsy decor and elevated gifts
• Nutmeg Olive Oil Company for obvious reasons
Staying caffeinated:
Like Lorelai, it’s important that you drink at least 3 cups of coffee every day that you are in Connecticut. I really like the IG account Coffee in Connecticut, as it shares stories behind shops and roasters from around the state. My favorite Connecticut coffee shop is Perkatory!!!!!
Sample day trip agenda:
Drink coffee #1 in preparation for the most fun day ever!
Arrive in [town of your choice].
Drink coffee #2 and have a light, Luke-approved breakfast.
Walk around [Town 1] main street and visit every bookstore, library, art museum, record store, vintage clothing store, antique furniture store, gift shop, and olive oil/gourmet chocolate/artisanal popcorn/high-end cookware store you can!!!!!
Eat lunch, preferably a soup, salad, or sandwich combo. New England Clam Chowder or grilled cheese always hits the spot!
Travel to [Town 2] while drinking coffee #3.
Repeat steps 2-5, minus the coffee. You’ve had enough at this point. Eat dinner at a New American or farm-to-table restaurant.
Enjoy a treat of your choice, preferably something apple-related, i.e. an apple cider doughnut, caramel apple, apple fritter, etc.
Repeat as desired. Congrats! You’re doing Gilmore Girls Fall perfectly!
🎨 Arts & Crafts corner
I’d been wanting to make a tufted rug for a long time and finally did it! I really just trusted the process because 1. There was no projector, so I had to freehand draw my design backwards (which was actually easier than I thought) 2. I kept running out of the yarn colors I needed 3. You have to start with the smallest details first, which is before you really get the hang of using the tufting gun with precision. Let’s just say I was going for a surrealist, Dalí melting clocks inspired look to represent the imminent distortion of our lives, and even time itself, by the burgeoning technology of smartphones. The point wasn’t to be technically accurate or “perfect”, the point was to make *~art~* inspired by one of my extremely niche core memories from 2007.
You may recognize the motif of the rug – like the cursor on my website – as the Green EnV horizontal flip phone that I had in high school. I carried it around in my green and white tweed FAKE Prada baguette bag (!!!!!) until my lemonade-flavored Vitamin Water spilled on it. Tragically, my precious EnV could not be revived. I stood over that bag of rice praying for a miracle, but it was too late. I did get the next iteration of this phone, the maroon EnV2, to replace it, but it was never the same. (I still think about this way too often.)
As you know, my entire Instagram feed is now pop culture-related arts & crafts projects. My toxic trait is thinking that I could pull off any of these. Unless…
Girl who was told at 11 that she’s too old to play with dolls grows up to professionally create miniatures for Barbie! Heartwarming.
The one DIY I absolutely DO need to make is Guess Who?!!!! This one is Gilmore Girls edition. And final note today on GG, I thought it was super sweet that Lauren Graham surprise moderated Emily Bishop’s recent book event in NYC!
🍝 Strega Nona September
The TikTokers found out about Strega Nona! Like so many other characters – Arthur, Spongebob, Frog and Toad, et al. – my favorite benevolent purveyor of magick and pasta continues to thrive online.
Etymology of Strega Nona
“Nonna Strega” would mean “Grandma Witch” in Italian, but “Nona” means “ninth”. Maybe she’s the ninth generation in a line of Italian women with enchanted domestic and culinary abilities! What a superpower. Why would anyone want to fly or be invisible when they could cure ailments AND make a *perfect* pot of pasta?
The inverted, incorrectly spelled “Strega Nona” is more like “Nona the Witch”, because her name is actually Nona. To clarify, she is a little old lady but is not actually a grandma/nonna.
The story of Strega Nona
Strega Nona is a 1975 children’s book and folktale by Italian American author Tomie dePaola about a wise woman and witch doctor who provides the villagers with remedies and helps them with their problems.² She cures headaches, finds husbands for single women (!!!!), and more. An altruistic queen.
Nona has a magic pasta pot that she can use to cook large amounts of pasta with a spell. Her friend Big Anthony tries to help her, but misses the critical step: You need to blow kisses at the pot three times to stop the pasta from cooking. Therefore, the town overflows with pasta! The townspeople want to lynch him (wtf) but Strega Nona luckily intervenes. She says the punishment must fit the crime, and Big Anthony has to eat all of the pasta he has cooked.
The appeal of Strega Nona
People are looking to the story as a representation of a quiet, simple life: Being a ‘grandma’, hanging out at home, and making pasta. This lifestyle sounds appealing in the colder months, especially as a come-down from the chaotic (but fun!) Brat Summer.
Having a Big Anthony Fall is also possible; he’s the center of the Venn Diagram between Strega Nona September and Brat Summer. According to his book in the Strega Nona series, “Big Anthony is a story of a boy who has trouble remembering and following instructions. As he grows into his own, he has to move into the real world and become a productive member of society. Unfortunately, everywhere he goes he has trouble doing what he is told.” Sounds less like a children’s book and more like a twenty-something’s coming-of-age. Tale as old as time!
💜 I’ll Be There For You
Coupling is a British comedy sitcom that ran for four seasons on BBC from 2000-2004, looking to replicate the success of FRIENDS in the UK.³ Coupling is semi-autobiographical, inspired by writer/director Steven Moffat’s relationship with producer Sue Vertue. (He even named the two main characters after them.)
Last month, I came across Coupling as I looked for a new half-hour sitcom to binge. I watched the first three seasons and lost interest in the fourth, as the dynamic of the core ensemble was disrupted.⁴ In an interview from this year for the 20th anni of the show’s final season, Moffat agreed. He said, in response to losing a central character and integrating a new replacement, “The spell had been broken somehow. Damn it.”
I consider the show to archetypically emulate FRIENDS, but it’s more like Sex and The City in terms of its risqué humor, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia in terms of its characters’ level of emotional immaturity, and Seinfeld in terms of its frequent misunderstandings and communication breakdowns, even with – and sometimes because of – cell phones, LOL. I loved the experimental format of Coupling, with each episode reflecting a different stylistic choice. One was done in a split screen, one revisited the same situation from different characters’ perspectives, one was in another language.
Every Coupling story line is explicitly about sex and in a very of the times, “Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars” kind of way. I appreciate the dry humor, but there was also a bit of a shock factor for me as an American. On American cable TV, you would never be able to have entire episodes about someone’s penis size, a best-selling dildo, erectile dysfunction, seducing a religious/celibate man, or uncovering an entire closet of homemade sex tapes. (These were all Sex and The City storylines, though.)
The amount of dialogue directly objectifying, dissecting, scrutinizing, and ogling women’s bodies would’ve been considered normal back then, but is unacceptable now. While this show is very dated – the male characters are crude and deeply misogynistic, the female characters are crushingly suppressed under the male gaze and body insecurity, and most of them are narcissistic – it reflected the state of comedy 20+ years ago. Considering the show as a product of its time, rather than judging it based on my contemporary standards, I liked Coupling!
What I found most interesting is how Coupling uses FRIENDS’s blueprint to define narrow archetypes to create a balanced friend group. Keep in mind, FRIENDS had exponentially more episodes than Coupling – 236 vs. 28 – which reflects the extent of character development. Let’s explore the parallels!
Chandler Bing | Jeff Murdock: The One Who’s Goofy
Chandler and Jeff are the comic relief of the show. Both are well-intentioned but awkward at flirting, inexperienced in dating, and unable to articulate their feelings toward women. They have self-deprecating humor, a fear of commitment, and an inability to navigate any kind of emotional complexity.
Chandler’s sarcastic punchlines and random quirks are more socially acceptable than Jeff’s weird statements and pubescent preteen boy’s level of maturity. (He’s actually kinda like Beavis & Butthead, now that I think about it.) Chandler also levels out over time, gaining experience and trust in order to become a long-term partner to Monica. Jeff had a short-lived inter-office relationship with a superior, but he disappeared, his storyline wasn’t wrapped up, and the actor didn’t come back for the goodbye episode. Wah!!!
Ross Geller | Steve Taylor: The One Who’s Neurotic
My least favorite! Ross and Steve are the over-thinkers, though Ross more so spirals and Steve just complains. The problem with the neurotic character is that they always assume patriarchal rightiousness for being logical and reasonable. Since their character’s ultimate purpose is to serve as the leading man in the focal relationship of the series, their inability to understand their partner and failure to engage in emotional labor gets them into conflict every time. Has anyone ever told them how love works????? Not logical! Not reasonable!
I do thank Ross for giving us “PIVOT” and “MY SANDWICH?!” but overall, I find him intolerable. Ross & Rachel’s primary storyline was about him refusing to take responsibility for his actions. “We were on a BREAK!” Okay….and??? Even Marcel (his pet monkey) has greater emotional intelligence than Ross.
However much my disdain for Ross, my seething annoyance for Steve is much, much greater. His self-centered, deeply misogynistic diatribes, especially to Susan when she was pregnant, made me want to punch him in the face through my TV. He’s disrespectful, reductive, and entitled. The thing that bothers me the most is that Steve is positioned as morally superior to Patrick because he’s in a long-term monogamous relationship. But with Patrick, you at least know he’s a womanizing perpetrator of the patriarchal ideas. Moffat called Steve “a bit of a bastard” and a “weasel”, which I wholeheartedly agree with.
Joey Tribbiani | Patrick Maitland: The One Who’s Charming
Joey and Patrick serve as the ladies’ man of the show. They are both charming, but in completely different ways. Joey is more innocent, naive, and fun, whereas Patrick is confident, manipulative, and cunning. Joey has emotional attachments, even if short-lived, and Patrick largely does not.
Both are clueless, Joey because he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, and Patrick because he’s so self-centered he doesn’t even realize how insensitive and shallow he is. Patrick also claims that he “doesn’t have a subconscious” and therefore “nothing is going on” in his head. Well, that’s one way to put it.
While they both have relationships and eventually settle down to some unknown extent, they are both part of the love triangle with the focal couple of the show and have, to some extent, pursued another one of the women in their friend group.
Rachel Green | Susan Walker: The One Who’s Pretty
This character is the unspoken female lead and serves as the barometer for female beauty – conventionally attractive, white, extremely thin, cute outfits, blonde hair, and blue eyes (at least when Jennifer Aniston famously wore her blue contact lenses). She’s also involved in the focal relationship of the series.
The character of Rachel had an excellent development over FRIENDS’s 10 seasons, with her gaining independence, agency, and substance over time. One of my favorite monologues of the series is from Rachel in the pilot episode, “It’s like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, ‘You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe!’” She’s come a long way from being a spoiled runaway bride with daddy’s credit card.
Susan’s character, in contrast, is more stable from the get-go. She’s sensible, independent in her career, and confident, which makes everyone around her insecure. She is not necessarily without insecurities of her own, but overall, she’s actually the most mature and level-headed person on Coupling, by far. What I can’t seem to figure out is why Rachel and Susan would settle for Ross and Steve.
Phoebe Buffay | Jane Christie: The One Who’s Weird
My favorite! This character is the outlandish one, although their eccentricities are expressed in different ways. Like a warm but strong breeze vs. a hurricane. Phoebe is silly, absurd, and open-minded. Jane is chaotic, self-centered, manipulative, and unpredictable. They are both actually funny, versus The Goofy Ones who use humor as a defense or coping mechanism.
Stereotypically, the ‘othered’ characters are either queer-coded or openly queer. FRIENDS tried to seem inclusive, but “The first kiss between women was done as a ratings grab between Rachel and her former sorority sister (guest star Winona Ryder) – not the show's actual lesbian couple.” There are several theories that Phoebe’s queerness is implied. On the other hand, Jane is openly bisexual. However, her sexuality was often the butt of the joke, used as a plot device to get attention from men, or invalidated because she is not seen dating a woman.
The parallel I find most interesting is their refusal to accept reality – Phoebe in a whimsical way, Jane in a ruthless, delusional, desperate way. They both often say erratic things that make their friends confused, but Phoebe congeals the group and Jane disrupts it. Phoebe sees the possibility for what could be, for us all, and Jane sees the possibility for what could be – to her benefit only.
Monica Geller | Sally Harper: The One Who’s Rigid
This character is the critical one, in need of constant approval. They’re best friends with The Pretty One but are much more in-their-heads than she is. Both are successful at work as a chef and beauty parlor owner, respectively. Monica is lovable, enthusiastic, and kind-hearted, whereas Sally is paranoid and resentful, which is sometimes perceived by others as mean-spirited.
Sally and Monica share control-seeking tendencies and insecurities about love and their appearance. Monica is obsessive-compulsive about cleanliness and order, whereas Sally’s low self-esteem and unrelenting obsession with her aging appearance (the extent to which I think implies body dysmorphia) leads to her berating herself and overanalyzing and self-sabotaging relationships. Like all of the other characters, the ones on FRIENDS are nicer, more wholesome, and not complete narcissists.
📲 I’m just a simple girl in a high-tech digital world
I loved this piece on background music from Dirt. “It’s like its own desert island test: if you were stuck in one place for eight hours, what would you listen to?” — lmao welcome to working in retail, where all you do is listen to the same songs on a four-hour loop. On the bright side, working at Gilly Hicks is why I love disco music so much, and Michael Kors introduced me to some of my favorite songs!⁵
Chloë Sevigny is from Connecticut, and I won’t let you forget it.
Paris might work it out on the remix with Lindsay. Better than with Meghan Trainor tbh.
In 2019, Irene Taylor, the director of I AM: CELINE DION, founded The Treehouse Project, a non-profit organization dedicated to accessibility in film for deaf, hard of hearing, blind and low-vision audiences. In celebration the UN’s International Day of Sign Languages Celine Dion’s YouTube channel features 20 new ASL videos from the I AM: CELINE DION soundtrack. So beautiful! I am never not in awe and astonishment of the unifying power of music.
Happy Autumn to my beloved Lenny Kravitz and his scarf only!!!!! The King of Autumn, as he is now being hailed, has officially christened the season looking as fine as ever. His recent IG video was a callback to the September 2012 meme of him walking around in a gigantic scarf. Guess it’s time to unpack mine as well!!
🦋 Social butterfly
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¹ The Real Inside Scoop was the name of a now-defunct ice cream shop in my hometown. Idk if I ever went there though. Nothing compares to Praline’s, never has, never will.
² This is one of those nostalgic things that I felt like was extremely popular, but maybe because I’m Italian? More on Lady Gaga, Sopranos, Jersey Shore, and other Italian American media coming in next week’s letter for Italian American heritage month.
³ Nothing can and will ever replicate the success, longevity, and cultural impact of FRIENDS. It was right place, right time, and most importantly – equal pay. (I will write my essay about this one day!)
⁴ Once the core six are no longer in every episode – Jeff left after season 3 in order to avoid being typecast – it’s all downhill from here.
⁵ Namely “Skin Tight” by Scissor Sisters and “The Glamorous Life” by Sheila E.
Lindsay might work it out with Paris on the remix?!?!? I'm sat.