The Rest is Still Unwritten

1990 theory, Avril's Birkin collection, Britney perfumes, mall pretzels, 2004 Fergie 🥨

Mar 28, 2024

Happy Thursday! I’m patiently awaiting the commencement of my birthday ~~weekend~~ WEEK! The astrological new year always gets me all sentimental and retrospective. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown to appreciate my birthday as a celebration of life itself vs. a celebration of me. Does that make sense??? As an Aries sun, Cancer moon, Leo rising, I do enjoy a good dance party, spending time with people I love, and loving affection & attention, but something really clicked in the past year where I can finally be truly grateful for whom/what I DO have vs. what I don’t. I’m proud of that!

TBT. The pic below was taken TEN years ago this week, when I forced my best friend to wake up at the crack of dawn to watch the sun rise over the Brooklyn Bridge. I still remember exactly what feelings came up as I looked across the skyline – naive promise, hope, and ambition. I don’t feel like that at all anymore LOL. Nothing is promised, and everything you receive in life is a gift, a privilege, a pleasure, or a lesson. As Natasha Bedingfield once said, “The rest is still unwritten”, but I am thankful every day to wake up and have an opportunity to figure it out! Thank you for coming along on the ride ILYSM!!!

4/2/14 at 6:37am ET. I was a huge fan of the X Pro II Instagram filter, as you can see.

In this issue:
🥑 Nobody likes you when you’re 23 33!!!! More on my 1990 theory on how modern pop culture revolves around Peak Millennials
👜 An embarrassing Birkin lawsuit and the irony of Avril Lavigne’s Birkin collection
📲 My fav things this week: Hyperreal Individualism, Craigslist missed connections, Britney Spears perfumes, Basenote Bitch, and mall pretzels
🎫 Full concerts from Aries queens celebrating birthdays (or in Mariah’s case, an anniversary) this week: Mariah Carey, Fergie, Lady Gaga, and Celine Dion

ICYMI, last week’s issue primarily focused on *~I aM aNy0nE u WaNt mE 2b~*, my Dollz visual project about identity & work. Thank you very much for collecting and for your support on my job search and this project. It means a lot! 💓

Support Nicstalgia with a paid subscription for less than an Hermès Birkin bag. Bday special on annual subs lasts through Aries season!

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Huge thank you to Nicstalgia supporters who I will love forever: Janine, Marie, Liv, Mitra, and CY! 💐💐💐

🥑 Nobody likes you when you’re 23 33

The New York Times’s The Daily podcast came out with an episode called It Sucks to Be 33. It’s a conversation about ““Peak Millennials,” the microgeneration born in 1990 and 1991, who have ended up competing for, well, almost everything.”

Claudius in Act 3 : r/shakespeare — There need to be scientific studies about how Peak Millennial Alexa Demie passes as a high schooler on Euphoria better than her Gen Z costars.

As a 33 year old myself, at least for the next 5 days, I agree from an economic & social standpoint and disagree from a cultural standpoint. Socially and economically, being 33 absolutely sucks. What a terrible time to be alive, or whatever Drake said. But culturally? We had the BEST pop culture moments from our specific vantage point as Peak Millennials. I’m more interested in sociology than clickbaity generational wars, so keep in mind that when I mention a generation, it’s a glaring over-generalization to map social, economic, and cultural patterns. Nothing personal.

Social Norms: TikTok Therapy and Gentle Parenting of iPad Kids
• Therapy used to be stigmatized and 180’d to the point where therapy speak has infiltrated the cultural lexicon. Words like gaslight, toxic, trauma, abuse, narcissist, boundaries, etc. are thrown around by people who – despite however well-intentioned – don’t understand the words’ true meanings. Sometimes these words are even weaponized by perpetrators (i.e. J*nah H*ll) against actual survivors, which deeply disturbs me.
• Therapy has also been commodified, which is why an ad for a new mental health app pops up on your feed every day. Therapy has been around for decades but only became socially acceptable when companies realized they could exploit it for profit.
• Peak Millennials are the children of emotionally immature Boomers and the gentle parents of iPad kids. They’re trying to break the cycle of generational trauma (which has also become a lexical phrase aghhh), but how can they with unbearable childcare costs and lack of collective, community, and institutional support?

Economic Norms: Student Loans and Housing Bubble
• Peak Millennials accumulated grotesquely massive amounts of student loan debt and graduated into a crowded job market AND an economic recession.
• According to the podcast episode, the median homeowner age increased from 31 in 2013 to 35 in 2023. That is absolutely wild. The episode also said “I think there’s probably a political dimension to this.” Ummm…DUH!!!!

Ominous situation, but at least we got some good memes out of it.

Cultural Norms: Golden Age of Nickelodeon, Disney Renaissance, and 1990 Theory
Much of modern pop culture specifically serves Peak Millennials, born in ‘90-’91. I call this phenomenon 1990 Theory™ because that’s the year I was born in. 1990-1991-And-It-Depends-On-What-Month-You-Were-Born-In Theory doesn’t have a nice ring to it.

In 1990, the groundbreaking “I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so….scared!” Saved by The Bell episode aired. Jesse’s caffeine pill-induced breakdown shed light on the effects of unprecedented academic pressure and foreshadowed widespread adoption of Millennial speed: Adderall, Molly, 4Loko, Red Bull vodkas, and venti Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks. The world would turn bleak socially and economically for PMs, but pop culture-wise, we had it all. PMs acutely experienced the Millennial-specific phenomenon: a completely integrated analog and digital childhood. We had Skip It, climbed trees, and read YM Magazine, but also knew the sound of dial up, had AIM screen names, and coded our MySpace pages. No other generation can say that.

What will the 2020s bring for Peak Millennials next?

1990s: PMs are kids at the quality peak of children’s programming. They experienced the Golden Age of Nickelodeon, the Disney Movie Renaissance, and DCOMs
2003: Thirteen movie is released when PMs are 13
2003: Martina McBride’s “This One’s for the Girls”, with the opening line, “This is for all you girls about thirteen” is released when PMs are 13
2004: 13 Going on 30 movie is released when PMs are 13
2006: High School Musicals 1, 2, and 3 come out when PMs are in high school
2007: Metro Station’s debut album featuring the song “Seventeen Forever” is released when PMs are 17
2009: The truly terrible and cringe Asher Roth song “I Love College” comes out when PMs are in college
2011: Kreayshawn’s song “Gucci Gucci” with the lyric, “see me on your college campus” comes out when PMs are in college
2013: Ultimate PM Taylor Swift releases song “22” when PMs are 22
2013: Mike Will Made It, featuring Miley Cyrus, releases “23” when PMs are 23
2015: Adele releases her album 25 when PMs are 25
2017: Paramore releases “26” when PMs are 26
2019: The Broad City episode where Ilana exclaims, “I’m only 27. What am I, a child bride?” was released when PMs were 27
2023: The Daily releases the episode “It Sucks to Be 33” when PMs are 33

👜 It’s not a bag, it’s a Birkin

Business of Fashion (BOF) reported, “Two California residents have filed a lawsuit against Hermès, alleging purchase of its sought-after Birkin bag is predicated on purchase of other products and is an “illegal tying arrangement” that violates US antitrust law.”

A little background: The ultra-luxe French maison Hermès first introduced the Birkin bag in 1984. It was named after actress Jane Birkin, who absolutely destroyed hers, if she even wore it at all. (She said it was too heavy.) Mary-Kate Olsen also famously wore her Birkin bag to death. Mary-Kate, and Sex and The City of course, brought Birkins into mainstream consciousness in the 2000s. Before that, they were just for very rich very old ladies. It’s considered a Veblen good, aka. a luxury product where demand increases as the price increases.

Birkins maintain a reputation for being wicked expensive and hard to buy. Hermès used to only sell Birkins to existing high-roller clients. (Lucy Liu, yes. Samantha Jones, no.) Now literally anyone with a credit card limit of over $7,000 can buy them; they’re sold everywhere from The RealReal to Revolve’s FWRD Renew resale platform. Top Birkin collectors include controversial makeup artist and legendary MySpace-famous influencer Jeffree Star, the youngest “self-made” “billionaire” ever, Kylie Jenner, and Singaporean socialite who got mega-rich after marrying and divorcing an Indonesian multi-millionaire, Jamie Chua.

My favorite collector is Avril Lavigne, because it’s unexpected and ironic. Her owning countless Birkins exemplifies what I am calling the Post-Punk Identity Complex, where so-called punks, outcasts, misfits, anti-establishment rebels, and purveyors of teenage angst (who are generally not actually disenfranchised people) resent or mock superficial, fake normies/preppies/jocks/bimbos. Then they hypocritically date (and thus become) the exact same people they claim complain about in order to gain status, wealth, power, and therefore, societal acceptance.

Main examples of PPIC include Avril dating Brody Jenner, Travis Barker publicly crushing on Kim and marrying Kourtney, the Good Charlotte bros being married to Nicole Richie and Cameron Diaz, Sum 41’s Deryck Whibley dating Paris, etc. What are these people really trying to say about themselves? At least Paris Hilton *knows* that no amount of money she acquires will ever be enough and Kim Kardashian *knows* that literally no one on this planet will ever be as desperate for fame as she is.

YARN | You know, you're not foolin' anyone | Avril Lavigne ... — Why’d you have to go and make things so complicated?

So Avril is obsessed with Birkin bags, but I’m obsessed with Avril Lavigne’s obsession with Birkin bags. Why does she love them so much? Why does she seemingly refuse to be seen without one? Does she realize that they ironically represent everything her music and image are still in opposition to, including signaling class status, social climbing, conspicuous consumption, hopping on the bandwagon, inauthenticity, and the gravest sin of all – being a poser??? (!!!!!!!!)

Because of late capitalism and context collapse, the punk ethos is stripped of its original meaning and key tenet of political activism. Instead of actually making a difference or changing the system, it’s easier to just be a sellout and make money off of the existing systems. Obviously a lot of artists’ songs aren’t autobiographical, but I find it extremely amusing that I saw Joel Madden, singer of “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous”, buying a $22 smoothie at Erewhon in LA.

When Avril said “I’m With You”, she was referring to her Birkin.

Anyway, back to this lawsuit. It is so embarrassing. Also, how can you afford a lawsuit and not a Birkin? I suppose it’s not entirely the plantiff’s fault for not understanding the equation: Money = Power = Status ≠ Ethics. This is why we look up to celebrities and famous people – because our society revolves around money, power, and status, not because celebs aren’t exponentially more dysfunctional than the rest of us. We live in a society that makes people think a Birkin bag will fundamentally make their lives better. A while back, there was even a scandal about how actual rich housewives would buy FAKE Birkins! Was it because the upper crust still had to keep up with the Joneses regardless of how much wealth they’d already accumulated, or was it just because they could fake it and still pass it off as the real thing? Does the real thing even matter anymore? When money is no object, you gotta get your thrills somehow. My verdict is, in the immortal words of Jemima Kirke, “I think you guys might be thinking about yourselves too much.”

Court dismissed!!!! Bring in the dancing lobsters!!!! (Total sidebar: will not be talking further about the harrowing Nickelodeon doc, but I love Amanda Bynes so much and wish her nothing but happiness and peace as she pursues a new career as a nail tech!)

📲 I’m just a simple girl in a high-tech digital world

My fav things from the internet rn:
By reading this newsletter, you already have a general understanding of what’s going on in my brain. Wanna dig deeper??? Princess Babygirl’s Hyperreal Individualism sums it up. There’s so much sameness on the internet right now, and there are so many super lame takes. Then once in a while, you read something that jolts you – you’re simply enthralled by it and have to get up and pace back and forth around your apartment, in thought, while reading it. This is one of those pieces for me. Princess Babygirl is BACK and gives me faith in cultural criticism once again.

Who knew Craigslist could be so…romantic?? I really loved Sarah Chefka’s digital art piece for The HTML Review, Establishing Secure Connection. You can generate your very own Craigslist poetry and even send it to your missed connection. If you don’t e-mail it to yourself, you lose it forever. If you don’t like the poem, start over and maybe you’ll get lucky next time.

Like why is this so intimate? Should I email this to him…

Terry Nguyen wrote a delightful piece for Dirt x Are.na’s very cool Scent Access Memories (SAM) series about the scents of the mall!! An article specifically mentioning mall pretzels is super timely, seeing as I’d eaten a mall pretzel the day before and polled My People™ to see which local 90s mall pretzel chain they had. The overwhelming majority said Auntie Anne’s, followed by Pretzel Time (which is what we have in CT) and Wetzel’s Pretzels. I have the same impression as Terry; out of one hundred-ish malls I’ve been to, South Coast Plaza is the most sterile. An Abercrombie & Fitch store in that mall does look like simulacrum. On our recent mall trip, my sister introduced me to Bath and Body Works’s Mahogany Teakwood scent. It smells just like an Abercrombie store. Who knew the 2000s was only a $7.95 hand soap away?

Speaking of unmistakable nostalgic scents, I loved listening to The Perfume Room episode, hosted by Emma Vernon with Liz Renstrom as a guest, all about Britney Spears’s fragrances! They smell, review, and rank 12 of Britney’s 36 signature scents. In high school, I had Fantasy. I’ve thought of buying it again – I recently saw it behind the counter at CVS – but my first priority is to find a perfume that exactly matches the scent of Tropical Splash Barbie (1994)! Any and all leads are appreciated.

Speaking of Liz, I’m super excited to have seen (and smelled) her Basenote Bitch exhibit in person!!!! It’s open through the weekend if you’re in NYC, and otherwise, you can see Liz’s gorgeous photos and poignant writing on each of the nearly 150 (!!!!!) scents on the beautifully newly-designed website by Elena Foraker. Each individual photo uncannily, absolutely perfectly encapsulates a microcosm of the cultural zeitgeist. My heart is exploding as I absorb every last one of the hyper-specific details. I’m completely blown away!!!! I can practically smell Bottled Emotions right through my screen!!!

Photos from ~~the inside of my brain~~ Basenote Bitch by Elizabeth Renstrom

🎫 Essential Aries week concerts

If astrology isn’t real, why were so many divas and superstars born this week?? Aretha Franklin, Diana Ross, Reba McEntire, Salt of Salt-N-Pepa, Tracey Chapman, Norah Jones – I could go on. (And I will.) Here are some epic full concerts you can watch this week, courtesy of my favorite Aries queens:

Mariah Carey – Daydream Tour: Live at The Tokyo Dome (1996)
All Lambs know that Mimi celebrates her anniversary, not birthday. She celebrates life, not age, and honestly, I’m on board with whatever she says. I watched this concert on a plane last year and am incredibly proud of myself for not publicly bursting into song even once. Yes, I was moved to tears and had to pretend like there was just dust in my eye. (Delta has the supreme movie selection.) Just make sure you stop the video a few mins early unless you wanna get jump scared by the most ubiquitous yet fabulous Christmas song ever.

Fergie – Black Eyed Peas at Pinkpop 2004 (2004)
Fergie has played many important roles: former Wild Orchid girl band member, co-host of children’s lip-synching competition TV show Great Pretenders, Black Eyed Peas standout, my favorite Today Show performer, and the best thing to happen to the American National Anthem in recent history. (That performance united the entire country.) She cast Milo Ventimiglia as her love interest in “Big Girls Don’t Cry” and her then-significant other was Josh Duhamel – idk about you, but that is Fergalicious to me. If you want to hear Fergie sing, yell, moan, scat, and vocalize like no other, you will absolutely love this low-res performance. I saw a clip of this on social media (the ending of “Shut Up”) and was hysterical over the dramatics. I live for the spectacle.

Lady Gaga – Live at Glastonbury Festival (2009) // “Poker Face”
I want to be very clear when I say that The Fame-era Lady Gaga reigns supreme for me. (In case you missed me talking about it in last week’s newsletter lol.) So much going on: The strikingly angular, seemingly physically dangerous costumes made of fragmented disco balls, spikes, and chains that could impale her with one wrong turn. The classic blonde bob wig. The absurdly, comically thick eyelashes that must considerably obstruct her vision. THE RED OUTFIT IN PARTICULAR!!!!!!!!! The incredible irony of her saying the one thing she really hates in the world is money. Like, no one talks about festivals as a form of “suffering for your love of music” anymore. Truly, a star is born.

Celine Dion – Taking Chances World Tour (2008)
This is one of the very few concerts I have enduring regret for not having gone to!!!!! You may recognize the iconic fuchsia Balmain cocktail dress! Celine’s energy is absolutely bonkers, in the best way possible. She’s an insanely talented, God-tier singer and live performer, so I’ll let the concert speak for itself.