Say "Crack" Again
Main Pop Girl fitness class, Infinite Icon, Britney fragrance stolen?? ⭐️
Happy Thursday! Let’s get right into it.
Today’s issue:
🏋🏻♀️ My fitness class schedule: Main Pop Girl, Friday The 13th, Virgo Season, and more!!
⭐️ Paris Hilton Infinite Icon album review, as organized by Paris catchphrase
📲 Britney’s fragrances…stolen??, the MOTHERLODE of The Sims fashion accessories, spotted in Crack Magazine
ICYMI, last week’s issue included what I would’ve bought from Kathy Hilton’s tag sale, 5 things you didn’t know about Lisa Frank, an exploration of the VS swimsuit archive, and much more! Per usual, premonitions were delivered: after diving into VS last week, I became aware of VSX’s (Victoria’s Secret’s activewear line) relaunch yesterday.
![I’ll keep you my dirty little [Victoria’s] secret](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_140,h_140,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F21b9cd7e-30c5-47c8-a302-4860f44869f2_875x585.png)
Support Nicstalgia with a paid subscription for less than the original promotional hat for Under The Tuscan Sun (2003) that this person from Twitter just bought off eBay.
Huge thank you to Nicstalgia supporters who I will love forever: Janine, Marie, Liv, Mitra, CY, and Aleena! 💐💐💐
🏋🏻♀️ Working on my fitness
I started teaching fitness classes again for the first time in a long time, and I’m so excited!! Imagine if being on an elliptical was fun – my class is like that!! I really was put on this earth to bring people together, make them feel like a part of something, spread joy through movement. Also to make playlists, bop around, and wear a Britney-esque headset microphone.
I have a new page on my website with my schedule! I’m so driven by musicality that I kinda can’t not have a theme. Classes are in-studio and on livestream. If you or someone you know is in Fairfield County, CT, send them my way!
⭐️ Loving you is my legacy
Paris Hilton has released her second studio album, Infinite Icon. The promotion surrounding her album has been fun to watch! I enjoyed this NYLON interview with her conducted by Bebe Rexha, and her PHSA (Paris Hilton Service Announcement), really commits to the bit. I love that people are finally in on the joke.
In her documentary, Paris said that her grandma went to a psychic, who told her that her granddaughter was gonna be super famous, or something like that. I have no idea how Paris copes with being famous to this earth-shattering magnitude, but it really was written in the stars. After her traumatizing adolescence and particularly horrific treatment by the media and the public in the 2000s, I’m truly happy to see her redemption arc play out in real time.
I’m going to review Infinite Icon songs, categorized by iconic Paris catchphrases.
★★★★ SANASAAAAAAA
Legacy: Two minutes and 18 seconds of pure bliss and unadulterated glamour!!!! Try to get me to stop listening to this song. You can’t do it!!!!! LOVING YOU IS MY LEGACY!!!!!! Yes this will be playing at my wedding!!!!!¹ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
★★★ That’s Hot
BBA (ft. Megan Thee Stallion): BBA stands for “Bad Bitch Academy”, and I’m ready to enroll after listening to this song. I would dance my ass off to this.
Stay Young: “‘Cause I’m a hottie, I’ll show off my body.” Certified banger! Meghan Trainer co-wrote this.
Infinity: Sounds completely different yet exactly the same as “Stay Young” to me. Probably because Meghan Trainer also co-wrote this.
Without Love (ft. Maria Becerra): I discovered Argentinian singer and former YouTuber via Spotify in 2022 and I love a bilingual club hit.
Adored: “So this is what it’s like to be adored.” Manifesting!!!!!!!
★★ The Only Rule is Don’t Be Boring
Welcome Back: Not a super strong opener, but I liken it to Christina’s “Stripped Intro”, so it works.
I’m Free (ft. Rina Sawayama): I like Rina and I like this song, but it could be a lot better. Very safe.
Fame Won’t Love You (ft. Sia): I am sonically repelled by the grand majority of Sia’s music, but this song gets more than one star because I’m sure making this song was cathartic for the both of them. Apparently, Sia encouraged Paris to sing with her real voice as opposed to the baby voice. Loves it!
ADHD: I feel very weird about the very mental health-driven lyrics in 2020s songs, and I could never sing this at karaoke. The line “My superpower was ADHD” is way too on-the-nose for me. But as someone who was diagnosed “with the symptoms of ADHD” last year by a doctor who said a diagnosis “doesn’t matter if you’re not looking to get on medication”, the line “Thank you to me” feels really compassionate and heartening.²
★ Stop Being Desperate
Chasin’ (ft. Meghan Trainor): I’m sorry but I feel a visceral discomfort listening to Meghan Trainor, and any and all information I’ve learned about her personal life has been against my will. You will never make me like a Meghan Trainor song, although if it’s playing in Zumba class and I’m wearing my earplugs, I can tolerate it.
If the Earth is Spinning (ft. Sia): See above note re: Sia. This song just does nothing for me.
📲 I’m just a simple girl in a high-tech digital world
Revlon is suing four of its former employees for having used proprietary information to sabotage the company’s 20-year fragrance partnership with Britney Spears. They jumped ship to Give Back Beauty, a competitor, and took the Britney Brands fragrance business with them! Apparently Curious sold more than 500 million bottles over its first decade, and the Spears-Arden (Elizabeth Arden is a subsidiary of Revlon) partnership made $30M a year! That tracks, because I think about 50 of those bottles were mine in high school. I’ve really been wanting to rebuy Fantasy, my signature scent in high school. For the record, My Inside Out emotions look like this.
I LOVED playing The Sims when I was younger. (I would now too, but admittedly, I don’t know how. Is it browser-based?) Repeatedly using the ROSEBUD and MOTHERLODE cheat codes granted me an unlimited amount of funding for my architectural pursuits. I’d spend more time designing the house than I actually would playing the game with characters. So speaking of design, my new favorite thing is this green gemstone clutch, handmade with a variety of beads to resemble The Sims’s Plumbob diamond. Chic!
Thought I was done talking about FWB FEST? Wrong!!!!!!! Latest in, a dispatch from Crack Magazine. You will see a familiar face, front row at Softt’s DJ set!! 😇
🦋 Social butterfly
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¹ I don’t have a wedding coming up, just planning ahead.
² There are so many things wrong with that sentence, but let’s stick to the Paris Hilton album review for today lol.
³ I’ve had this exact exchange with so many people, dozens of times. For the last 20 years, quoting Mean Girls really has been the unifying fabric of our reality.
Oh my goodness, the little Sims bag! I rediscovered the Sims as an adult and to be honest, it is my most expensive vice. I don't need meditation when I can sit on my couch and build little pixel houses. It just shuts my brain off. I play it on my XBox, but you can also play it on your PC or Playstation. I guess there's also a mobile version but I don't dabble in that. It's so much more in depth than you remember! Join us on the grown up Simmers side!