Baby, I'll stay forever twenty-one
A Forever 21 eulogy, Kim Cattrall's perfect ad, Vanna White's first tattoo 🙏
I taught my 100th themed elliptical class this week! I was truly meant to bop around, make playlists professionally, blast indulgent music, and lead a crowd in-person and on-camera while wearing a little Britney Spears headset microphone. These are my Top 8 favorite classes I’ve taught so far:
Feelin Jovani - I was thinking of a Thanksgiving-themed playlist, and what reminds you of being home more than housewives? So all the songs were from Bravo shows, including Countess Luann’s “Feelin Jovani”, the Vanderpump Rules theme song “Raise Your Glass”, and VPR’s Scheana Shay’s “Good As Gold”. So freakin fun.
Beautiful Soul - Jesse McCartney was in Connecticut, so I made a playlist centered around songs of his peers. Not that he’d come to my class, but I did meet Ryan Cabrera in Connecticut, so why not? My favorite songs were “I’m Better” by Ashley Parker Angel, “Crush” by David Archuleta, and 3 bangers by The Click Five. (If you think they’re a one-hit wonder, that’s on you.)
Cosmic Glam - My favorite genre of music is glamorous, dreamy electronic pop, so I’m always thinking of ways to describe its viscerally otherworldly feeling. In a similar vein as Bliss Pop, Nirvana Pop, and Euphoric Pop, Cosmic Glam is just essentially a bunch of my favorite songs by Scissor Sisters and Goldfrapp. There’s a global twist as well, featuring “Venerdí”, my fav Baby K song (Italian), “À cause des garçons” by Yelle (French), and “Music Is My Hot, Hot Sex” by CSS (Brazilian Portuguese).
Cloud Nine - Similar to Cosmic Glam, this playlist also features the Warren Club Mix of “Breathless” by The Corrs, a song to which I could happily ride off into the sunset. “Bloom” by Troye Sivan, “Affirmations” by Hannah Diamond, and “Dancer” by LÉON round out this playlist that makes you feel like you’re floating on a cloud. Oh and “Here (In Your Arms)” by Hellogoodbye. Idk why, but it just works!!!
Call Me Maybe - I love Carly Rae Jepsen, that’s it!!!!
Sk8er Girl - I also love Avril Lavigne, but a lot of her songs are the same speed, so I had to recruit some other non-poser rock chicks. Avril’s “Girlfriend”, Demi Lovato’s rock remixes of “Give Your Heart A Break”, “Heart Attack”, and “Confident”, and Kelly’s “I Do Not Hook Up” and “Since U Been Gone” were sooooo satisfying to ride to.
Nic’s Picks - At the end of 2024, I went through all my playlists and wrote a list of my favorite 24 songs. 12 were because they are fun to move to, and the other 12 were because I was so amused by their obscurity or randomness. Like I cannot believe someone actually allowed me to play this in public. “Hearts On The Run” by Delta Goodrem, “Stacy’s Mom” by Fountains of Wayne, “Screwed” by Paris Hilton, “Surrender” by Ashlee Simpson, “Dirty Little Secret” by The All-American Rejects, “Break the Ice” by Britney Spears, and “Wind It Up” by Gwen Stefani make for a very entertaining 45 minutes. The class was obsessed!!!!
More, More More - This one was created from my Gilly Hicks playlist, and the class was super obsessed with this one!!!! So am I!!!
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RIP Forever 21. We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Forever 21, which filed for (another) bankruptcy and announced they will be closing all retail stores.
When I say, “take me back”, I specifically mean outside of Forever 21 in the Meriden Mall. This is where I witnessed history: a Jonas Brothers pop-up performance in support of The Marvelous Party Tour (2007).¹ It happened in December, but in my own memory, it felt like Spring or Summer. It truly was a simpler time, pre-mass adoption of social media or fast fashion.
Forever 21 was always there for me when I needed them, particularly for my teenage milestone events. During my high school senior week, I rushed to the mall for a last-minute Class Night dress.² I suppose I couldn’t find one, or I used my petite body proportions to my advantage, as I wore a printed tunic shirt as a dress with brown leggings with lace trim, 4” strappy heels, and large beaded hoop earrings. This was 2008; I looked absolutely fabulous!! Forever 21 also dressed me for my birthday celebration at the Cheesecake Factory, floor seats at the Spice Girls reunion concert, my high school graduation and graduation party, many soccer/frat/lax parties, and nights out at the club.
Notably, it was where I acquired my pièces de résistance: red shirts and dresses with white polka dots. This color/pattern combo was my signature, and anytime I wore it, you automatically knew it was gonna be a good time. This foundational cornerstone of my aesthetic identity would not have been possible without Forever 21’s broad, yet also oddly specific, product assortment and high merchandise turnover rate.
Forever 21 dressed Peak Millennials™ for nights we wouldn’t remember with friends we wouldn’t forget. We depended on them for cheap going-out tops and wouldn’t be too upset if we spilled Four Loko on them. Despite being made of low-quality synthetic fabric that began to unravel even after the first wash, Forever 21’s materials are superb compared to the true garbage that is produced today. F21 gave us endless racks of flowy crop tops, ill-fitting denim, shoddy jewelry, and highly-flammable mini skirts in unflattering silhouettes, and we loved them for that.
F21 was the long-reigning queen of 2010s mall culture; almost an oxymoron in and of itself. It was resilient throughout the Retail Apocalypse it helped cause and outlasted my other favorite mall stores like Waldenbooks, Borders, and dELiA*s. It even replaced the Rainforest Cafe in Westfarms Mall. (Okay now I’m crying?!) We can admire Forever 21 for always being a risk taker and free spirit, although this resulted in consistent entanglement in lawsuits for egregious copyright infringement. They stole from designers without remorse, inadvertently becoming a trendsetter for years to come. What seemed too good to be true certainly was; despite prices being cheap, the nascent fast fashion model came at a heavy cost to society. What made Forever 21 so appealing in the first place is ultimately what caused its downfall.
SHEIN and others accelerated the race to the bottom, outplaying Forever 21 at its own game. Global supply chains shifted, and the costs of fast fashion’s alarming pace became undeniable. Naomi Klein’s warnings in No Logo are now abundantly clear – insurmountable waste, devastating labor exploitation (particularly in the global South), and still-irreversible environmental damage were part of the bargain. I used to want to be forever 21, able to tolerate brutal hangovers and sleep deprivation, despite being bloated, naive, and fighting a losing battle to the false God of meritocracy.
The last time I shopped at Forever 21 was I think in 2018, coincidentally the first time I shopped at SHEIN (which I haven’t shopped at since 2019! I found its British e-commerce site first and assumed it was like a British Forever 21 as opposed to something much, much worse.⁴) I was far older than 21, but due to accelerated capitalism, entering the workforce in the aftermath of the Great Recession, and working in the exploitative fashion industry itself, Forever 21 was still all I could afford. My items have been lost to time with the exception of a red racerback sports bra and the red disc sequin dress I wore to the 2008 Spice Girls concert. Like our youth, low interest rates, endless upward mobility, or sincere pursuit of a decimated, outdated vision of the American Dream, Forever 21 was not meant to last forever. May it rest in pieces – hopefully not in a landfill.
👁 Kim Cattrall’s promo for Lancôme’s Lash Idôle Flutter Extension Mascara is perfect. No notes. Only the woman behind Samantha Jones could so authentically insist that “everyone deserves a little extra length.”
🎰 When you shout out Fall Out Boy on The Price is Right and win…Makes me think about who to shout out if I’m ever on a game show. (Gotta be prepared, you never know.) Probably Celine Dion.
😯 Opening a child’s *NSYNC journal only to see an amateur drawing of the recently fallen Twin Towers in the background of an *NSYNC photo is quite the dramatic twist. I’m genuinely fascinated by stories of real-time reactions, especially of children, to the tragedy of September 11 through the lens of pop culture.⁵
🏆 Speaking of Mariah Carey saving people’s lives, I may or may not have actually shed a tear upon watching this video she posted on IG to announce her nomination into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
🫧 When entrepreneur and Spanx founder Sara Blakely turned 30, she converted her townhouse basement into a disco with a smoke machine, disco ball, zebra carpet and bubbles. She would go downstairs after a stressful day and just dance by herself. If I had a basement, this is literally exactly what I would do!!
🎤 We all know that Hilary Duff is only singing half the time. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
📕 Earlier this month, Rick Astley took to Instagram to celebrate World Book Day. It made me realize that I probably need a cardboard cutout of Rick Astley.
💅🏼 Multiple people in the house know this is an incredible set of nails, therefore you should know the truth.
⭐️ Vanna White got her first tattoo done by her daughter, who is a tattoo artist!
✉️ 98 Degrees saved their fan mail from over the years! They asked, “Do people even send physical fan mail anymore?” and it’s like, challenge accepted. Drop the PO box address, Nick Lachey!
🎸 If you for some unbeknownst reason have not yet seen the Freakier Friday trailer, now that you’re done reading this newsletter, please drop everything and watch it. I can’t wait to see this! Good for Chad Michael Murray for staying booked and busy.
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¹ I went to this concert because I was chaperoning my younger sister and her friends, not because I really knew or cared who Jo Bros were at the time. However, due to the fact that I’ve spent about 17% of my life working in malls, I was there in March 2012 the same day as One Direction. History!
² It was actually called Class Knight because my mascot was the Blue Knights lol.
³ The worst of times specifically refers to when I had bangs in 2009. This is the first, last, and only time you will ever see a picture of me in my darkest hour. I will not be answering questions on this topic, and by reading this sentence, it is now your responsibility to join the coalition of people who will never let me get bangs again.
⁴ I can and will make anything a Spiceworld reference.
⁵ I am completely fascinated by the story of Sara Botkin, a woman who was late for work at the World Trade Center because she stopped at the record store to buy Mariah Carey’s Glitter CD the morning of 9/11. It inadvertently saved her life.
RIP Forever 21!
I was 12 when 9/11 happened, so not exactly a child, but I did get the date wrong in my journal and later went over it with white-out 😂
I'm not sad to see Forever 21 go, though I do still own and wear a pair of boots that I bought there well over a decade ago. The soles are a mess now, but I love those boots so much I'm thinking of having them re-soled because I can't find any that are similar! I never expected a $15 pair of boots to last so long.